I'm Alive

Alone, Loki stood before the tall mirror. It reached from the ground and clawed its way to the ceiling of the empty room. He was alone and it was nearly unbearable. But no, never alone really. It was there. It was always there. The shadow in the back of his mind, always lurking, always feeding his anger, his fears, his sadness. Only in the mirror did it rear its monstrous head, hungry for vengeance and blood. Loki pressed his hands against the glass the reflected his pale, sickly face. Then it wasn't Loki's face anymore, but the beast's. Loki's features snarled and growled, barely resembling him.

"Loki, you can't escape me", it breathed softly. Loki shook against the glass. He feared this thing that had come to life inside him.

It laughed at him, You fear me? Why? I saved you! I kept us alive while you were practically dead in the black abyss. We survived because of me.

"You're not real," Loki muttered to the horrible reflection, wishing things back to how they were. The loneliness he could handle, but this beast? It was nearly impossible to keep control.

The monster smiled, "Oh, I'm real. And I'm always here. Right here beneath the surface. I am you. There is no going back, you child. There is only forward. Do you think they would take you back? You, who they despised all along? No. I'm the only one you can rely on. I saved you and I will again the next time you fail. I will until the end of our existence."

Loki couldn't stand anymore. His face was leaning against the cool glass as he knelt before it. The monster was right, of course. He was always right. It was the cold hard truth. His family, the people he grew up knowing, were gone. He would never have their love, their acceptance. This thing inside him was all there was. Anger and despair clasped him round the throat.

"Let them go, my friend. Let go of those mighty beings who considered you lower than themselves. They have no place in your heart. Tear them out and burn them. It is less than they deserve from you."

Loki shuddered, his face was streaked with tears, "What do I do now?" He hated the way his voice cracked, shuddering as he pleaded for help.

"We know where the Tesseract is. We have the Chitauri army at our disposal. We have the scepter from Thanos the great. We will lead them and take Midgard. We will make the humans kneel before us. Or they will die."

Loki nodded, though his mind was chaos. How would he manage this? Surely Odin would stop him. Or Thor.

"Perhaps they could stop it, Loki. And they will most certainly try. But, they cannot stop our vengeance. They should fear us as we lift our hand to destroy them. They should fear our brutality, for we will be merciless."

"I don't want to destroy them," Loki whimpered, nearly panicked. "Hurt them, yes, as they have hurt me. But I don't want them dead."

"Foolish child, who said anything about killing them? I said we would be merciless. We destroy to the greatest torture. They will live with our beatings. We will crush their hearts, the way they crushed yours. Odin Allfather will regret the day he found you on Jotunheim."

The shiver that ran down Loki's spine was unintentional. Another reminder he was not theirs. He never could belong in Asgard, and now he could not in Jotunheim either, his birth home. Neither were him home. He belonged nowhere.